Post by Tempest on Aug 2, 2010 11:52:44 GMT -5
We come back from commercial for Tyson’s new chocolate-flavored frozen fried-chicken...
Keri Thames: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, please welcome, the CEO of Vanguard Entertainment and the X.W.A., Michael Hart!
The opening whispers of Bodies by Drowning Pool kick in, leading into the raging scream that announces the arrival of the man best known to the XWA fans as Tempest. Michael Hart steps through the curtains and out onto the stage to a massive pop from the crowd. He pauses there for a moment, smiling and enjoying the rush.
Marc Sanction: And there he is, John. The new owner of the XWA.
J. Pain: He looks pretty good for a guy who's been repeatedly beaten down by the Legion and bashed in the head with steel shovels...I hear he’s got a room at the hospital permanently reserved just for him.
Limping noticeably, the Storm of the Century makes his way down the ramp as his entrance music blares and the crowd continues to cheer. Dressed casually, he winces as he climbs the ring steps and then slides through the ropes.
Sanction: Tempest is definitely one tough son of a bitch, but you’re right. No man can continue to take the beatings he’s been taking.
J. Pain: Maybe he’s about to announce his retirement?
The music dies and Hart waits for the crowd to die down a bit before speaking into the mic.
Tempest: G’day, Mates!
Cheap Pop...but it works. The crowd’s cheering again.
Tempest: (Grinning) Welcome to the Xtreme Wrestling Alliance’s first televised broadcast from Australia...hell, first show from Australia period, in quite some time. We hope you’re enjoying the show. We’ve got a lot more in store for you, so stick around. Its gonna be fun.
J. Pain: Sounds like he’s hosting Saturday Night Live, for cryin’ out loud. Considering how often he’s been out injured lately, I suppose he IS sort of a guest host right now...
Tempest: But before we can get into all that...we’ve got something we need to take care of tonight...a bit of business that’s long overdue. I actually never thought this would all have to be addressed publicly, but I guess that just goes to show just how spontaneous the XWA can be. So, before I say anything more, lets just roll the tape of our surprise guest last week on Massacre...
The XWA logo spin shifts across the screen and we cut to a shot of XWA Legend Alex Sean in the ring, addressing the crowd. There’s a graphic at the bottom of the screen the reads: LAST WEEK.
[/B] So, as fate would have it, I just happened to be in town and thought to myself; What the hell? And here I am!
The crowd generically cheers.
Alex Sean:[/B] I'm sure you're all wondering what brings me here. I'm sure you're all thinking of the possibilities; Is he coming back? Is he seeking revenge on The MadDog? Is he coming to rekindle his rivalry with J-Pain?
We cut to J-Pain who gives his generic "announcer's been called out and is ready to throw down face".
Alex Sean:[/B] However the reason I am here is none of those.
J-Pain, dejected, resumes his role as color commentator. Take that Hulkster!
Alex Sean:[/B] No you see the reason I am here is because as I just happened to drive by the Wachovia Center, I started reflecting on these past few months of my life. I thought of the reopening of the XWA by myself and King Kraig, I thought of our departure, I thought of my time away, and I thought of when I sought to return to this company with the single goal of facing DGX at Legends. But as well all know, that did not come to pass because of a group of individuals who don't think a whole lot of your World Champion. They said I was trying to politic my way to a title, that I was a rat who left a sinking ship that had now righted it's course and was trying to return. They tried to treat me, your World Champion, like a bitch.
Appropriate jeers from the audience.
Alex Sean:[/B] But Alex Sean, your World Champion, is no bitch. Especially not to bitches. Because as they say, bitches be trippin. So I walked away and they said that I took my ball and went home. And you know what, in a way they were right. Sure, they're philosophically wrong, but grammatically they're close. You see, I took both of my fine, fertile, World Champion balls and I went home... to the WFWF.
The crowd is sensing a shift here.
Alex Sean:[/B] Now sure, I wasn't welcomed with open arms. Hell in fact, I went from one company where the management wanted me gone to another facing the same problem. But the difference is, despite being mediocre, despite being outmatched, despite being intellectually bankrupt, Trace Demon had something that The MadDog, nor any of the people behind the curtain in the XWA had, and that's balls. You see these guys resent me not because I am willing to take my balls wherever I want to go, but because they've got no balls to take anywhere. They're all ballless. And I'm ballin. Your World Heavyweight Champion.
Yeah this is pretty insulting.
Alex Sean:[/B] So as I stand here, your balls-home-taking World Heavyweight Champion, standing on top of the mountain as the undisputed best in the business, I look at this shade of a corpse of a company that was defined by the spinelessness of the people who handled it, I look at the vast roster of seven people that actually compete here, and you know what fans? I think your World Champion took his balls to the right place; The WFWF.
Now they're booing.
Alex Sean:[/B] But hey, don't worry MadDog, don't worry the rest of you, because I did what you wanted; I took my balls right back to the XWA. And not just that, I'm even gonna tell you what to do with them; Suck them. Suck my balls XWA. Suck my World Champion balls because these balls, these balls right here...
Sean points to his balls.
Alex Sean:[/B] These beautiful, fertile, World Champion orbs of delight and satisfaction are the closest thing to anyone here will ever get to true greatness.
Pausing momentarily, Sean stands there, pointing at his balls, nodding to the camera.
Alex Sean:[/B] So, in closing, from your World Champion, Namaste XWA, namaste.
With that, Alex Sean exits the ring and jumps over the barricade. Nobody dares lay a finger on Alex Sean because, let's be real, he'd fuck them up something fierce. And as he exits, we move on to our next order of business.
[/Center][/quote]
We cut back to Tempest in the ring and the crowd is booing loudly. From the back of the arena starts an “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” chant that soon swells until the entire stadium is reverberating. Michael Hart holds his hands up to quiet the audience, who reluctantly lower the volume, but the tension is thick with irritated XWA fans.
Tempest: Heh. Ok. Easy...easy. I know, I know. Its pretty volatile stuff, right? Former XWA Owner-slash-General Manager-slash-Champion Alex Sean basically taking a dump on the Xtreme Wrestling Alliance, our roster, and all our fans.
J. Pain: I ain’t always the biggest fan of the way things get done around here, Mark, but what Alex Sean did...
Sanction: Was totally out of line. For once we agree on something, wholeheartedly.
Tempest: But what was Mr. Sean really saying here? I mean, really...lets look past the totality of the text for a minute and see if we can decipher what was going on in his devious little mind. I mean, he did end the monologue with the word Namaste, right? And as everyone knows...(pauses to arch his eyebrow sharply, which gets a small chuckle from the crowd)...the gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."
Sanction: I did not know that.
J. Pain: There’s a lot you don’t know, “Wheels”.
Tempest: So his diatribe could be construed as a cry for help followed by either the statement “I bow to you” or “You bow to me.” But frankly, with all the talk about Alex’s balls, I’m pretty sure he’d have to be saying that he’d want us all to bow to him, so it would be easier for us to “Suck Them”...I believe that was his request, right? (More Booing), but of course, he could be saying he’d bow to us, just so he could show us the aforementioned huge balls...
The crowd is definitely not happy, and even their laughter has a dark tone to it.
Tempest: ...by the way, Alex? You know, I had the research people do some investigating, and quite frankly, an obsession with one’s own balls really isn’t that psychologically healthy. Even if its only because they’re so enlarged, that in and of itself could be symptom of a whole slew of medical problems ranging from testicular cancer to orchitis, to lymphoma, and even elephantitis. You really should get those looked at...and please, not here in my ring.
More dark chuckles, but also a growing impatience.
Tempest: So, what now? Look, I could stand out here and take jabs at Alex Sean for lots of reasons, for everything from the rumors that he’s a sneaky, underhanded bastard who has to get his opponents to take dives for him so he can win, OR, the fact that he can be an arrogant bully who needs to pick on people he sees as below him to make himself feel like a real champion...But I won’t.
Sanction: But I think he just did anyway...didn’t he?
J. Pain: Shuddup, Sanction. The man’s talking.
Tempest: No, Alex, I’m simply going to say, I’m glad you’re so happy in the WFWF. Its a great place. There's a lot of great people there. Hell, we’ve got a great working relationship with their management staff, so much so as we’ve got talent with exchange clauses in their contracts that allow them to wrestle freely for either company. So, seriously, I’m really glad that you’ve finally found a place where you can put your feet up and say, “I’m Home.” Really. Because, frankly...say what you want, man...You can’t hang with us anymore. You can’t handle it physically or attitude-wise. All this talk about being “Your World Champion”? Its bullshit. You don’t have what it takes to make it here anymore in the XWA.
Sanction: Now, I don’t know about that...
Tempest: Sure, Alex, you’re fully capable of winning a match...but going the distance? Actually going through the ranks and winning a title...and then defending the thing? Putting in the time and dedication, week after week to prove you’re a champion in reality and not just on paper? Not likely. As a matter of fact I’d go so far as to say, not possible. You can’t do what the guys in the back can do. You can’t dedicate yourself to something without working out all the angles....you can’t step into whatever comes your way, face it like a man, and take on all comers.
The crowd has gone silent, entranced by Tempest’s speech.
Tempest: The guys back there in the locker room, regardless of affiliation or philosophy, are the among best there is in the business. They give this place everything they’ve got and keep coming back. They don’t give up. They don’t walk away when the going gets tough. They come out here and entertain the fans and each other each and every week, and they do this for the love of it...not so they can rub it in the faces of anyone they mistakenly believe is believe is beneath them. How dare you come into our yard and piss on the XWA, Alex.
The camera cuts to a closeup.
Tempest: ...piss on you, Alex Sean.
<TAG to either Alex or his buddy only, if you guys still want to reply...if you don’t by Thursday, this will get finished out...>
Keri Thames: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, please welcome, the CEO of Vanguard Entertainment and the X.W.A., Michael Hart!
The opening whispers of Bodies by Drowning Pool kick in, leading into the raging scream that announces the arrival of the man best known to the XWA fans as Tempest. Michael Hart steps through the curtains and out onto the stage to a massive pop from the crowd. He pauses there for a moment, smiling and enjoying the rush.
Marc Sanction: And there he is, John. The new owner of the XWA.
J. Pain: He looks pretty good for a guy who's been repeatedly beaten down by the Legion and bashed in the head with steel shovels...I hear he’s got a room at the hospital permanently reserved just for him.
Limping noticeably, the Storm of the Century makes his way down the ramp as his entrance music blares and the crowd continues to cheer. Dressed casually, he winces as he climbs the ring steps and then slides through the ropes.
Sanction: Tempest is definitely one tough son of a bitch, but you’re right. No man can continue to take the beatings he’s been taking.
J. Pain: Maybe he’s about to announce his retirement?
The music dies and Hart waits for the crowd to die down a bit before speaking into the mic.
Tempest: G’day, Mates!
Cheap Pop...but it works. The crowd’s cheering again.
Tempest: (Grinning) Welcome to the Xtreme Wrestling Alliance’s first televised broadcast from Australia...hell, first show from Australia period, in quite some time. We hope you’re enjoying the show. We’ve got a lot more in store for you, so stick around. Its gonna be fun.
J. Pain: Sounds like he’s hosting Saturday Night Live, for cryin’ out loud. Considering how often he’s been out injured lately, I suppose he IS sort of a guest host right now...
Tempest: But before we can get into all that...we’ve got something we need to take care of tonight...a bit of business that’s long overdue. I actually never thought this would all have to be addressed publicly, but I guess that just goes to show just how spontaneous the XWA can be. So, before I say anything more, lets just roll the tape of our surprise guest last week on Massacre...
The XWA logo spin shifts across the screen and we cut to a shot of XWA Legend Alex Sean in the ring, addressing the crowd. There’s a graphic at the bottom of the screen the reads: LAST WEEK.
Alex Sean:
The crowd generically cheers.
Alex Sean:[/B] I'm sure you're all wondering what brings me here. I'm sure you're all thinking of the possibilities; Is he coming back? Is he seeking revenge on The MadDog? Is he coming to rekindle his rivalry with J-Pain?
We cut to J-Pain who gives his generic "announcer's been called out and is ready to throw down face".
Alex Sean:[/B] However the reason I am here is none of those.
J-Pain, dejected, resumes his role as color commentator. Take that Hulkster!
Alex Sean:[/B] No you see the reason I am here is because as I just happened to drive by the Wachovia Center, I started reflecting on these past few months of my life. I thought of the reopening of the XWA by myself and King Kraig, I thought of our departure, I thought of my time away, and I thought of when I sought to return to this company with the single goal of facing DGX at Legends. But as well all know, that did not come to pass because of a group of individuals who don't think a whole lot of your World Champion. They said I was trying to politic my way to a title, that I was a rat who left a sinking ship that had now righted it's course and was trying to return. They tried to treat me, your World Champion, like a bitch.
Appropriate jeers from the audience.
Alex Sean:[/B] But Alex Sean, your World Champion, is no bitch. Especially not to bitches. Because as they say, bitches be trippin. So I walked away and they said that I took my ball and went home. And you know what, in a way they were right. Sure, they're philosophically wrong, but grammatically they're close. You see, I took both of my fine, fertile, World Champion balls and I went home... to the WFWF.
The crowd is sensing a shift here.
Alex Sean:[/B] Now sure, I wasn't welcomed with open arms. Hell in fact, I went from one company where the management wanted me gone to another facing the same problem. But the difference is, despite being mediocre, despite being outmatched, despite being intellectually bankrupt, Trace Demon had something that The MadDog, nor any of the people behind the curtain in the XWA had, and that's balls. You see these guys resent me not because I am willing to take my balls wherever I want to go, but because they've got no balls to take anywhere. They're all ballless. And I'm ballin. Your World Heavyweight Champion.
Yeah this is pretty insulting.
Alex Sean:[/B] So as I stand here, your balls-home-taking World Heavyweight Champion, standing on top of the mountain as the undisputed best in the business, I look at this shade of a corpse of a company that was defined by the spinelessness of the people who handled it, I look at the vast roster of seven people that actually compete here, and you know what fans? I think your World Champion took his balls to the right place; The WFWF.
Now they're booing.
Alex Sean:[/B] But hey, don't worry MadDog, don't worry the rest of you, because I did what you wanted; I took my balls right back to the XWA. And not just that, I'm even gonna tell you what to do with them; Suck them. Suck my balls XWA. Suck my World Champion balls because these balls, these balls right here...
Sean points to his balls.
Alex Sean:[/B] These beautiful, fertile, World Champion orbs of delight and satisfaction are the closest thing to anyone here will ever get to true greatness.
Pausing momentarily, Sean stands there, pointing at his balls, nodding to the camera.
Alex Sean:[/B] So, in closing, from your World Champion, Namaste XWA, namaste.
With that, Alex Sean exits the ring and jumps over the barricade. Nobody dares lay a finger on Alex Sean because, let's be real, he'd fuck them up something fierce. And as he exits, we move on to our next order of business.
[/Center][/quote]
We cut back to Tempest in the ring and the crowd is booing loudly. From the back of the arena starts an “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” chant that soon swells until the entire stadium is reverberating. Michael Hart holds his hands up to quiet the audience, who reluctantly lower the volume, but the tension is thick with irritated XWA fans.
Tempest: Heh. Ok. Easy...easy. I know, I know. Its pretty volatile stuff, right? Former XWA Owner-slash-General Manager-slash-Champion Alex Sean basically taking a dump on the Xtreme Wrestling Alliance, our roster, and all our fans.
J. Pain: I ain’t always the biggest fan of the way things get done around here, Mark, but what Alex Sean did...
Sanction: Was totally out of line. For once we agree on something, wholeheartedly.
Tempest: But what was Mr. Sean really saying here? I mean, really...lets look past the totality of the text for a minute and see if we can decipher what was going on in his devious little mind. I mean, he did end the monologue with the word Namaste, right? And as everyone knows...(pauses to arch his eyebrow sharply, which gets a small chuckle from the crowd)...the gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."
Sanction: I did not know that.
J. Pain: There’s a lot you don’t know, “Wheels”.
Tempest: So his diatribe could be construed as a cry for help followed by either the statement “I bow to you” or “You bow to me.” But frankly, with all the talk about Alex’s balls, I’m pretty sure he’d have to be saying that he’d want us all to bow to him, so it would be easier for us to “Suck Them”...I believe that was his request, right? (More Booing), but of course, he could be saying he’d bow to us, just so he could show us the aforementioned huge balls...
The crowd is definitely not happy, and even their laughter has a dark tone to it.
Tempest: ...by the way, Alex? You know, I had the research people do some investigating, and quite frankly, an obsession with one’s own balls really isn’t that psychologically healthy. Even if its only because they’re so enlarged, that in and of itself could be symptom of a whole slew of medical problems ranging from testicular cancer to orchitis, to lymphoma, and even elephantitis. You really should get those looked at...and please, not here in my ring.
More dark chuckles, but also a growing impatience.
Tempest: So, what now? Look, I could stand out here and take jabs at Alex Sean for lots of reasons, for everything from the rumors that he’s a sneaky, underhanded bastard who has to get his opponents to take dives for him so he can win, OR, the fact that he can be an arrogant bully who needs to pick on people he sees as below him to make himself feel like a real champion...But I won’t.
Sanction: But I think he just did anyway...didn’t he?
J. Pain: Shuddup, Sanction. The man’s talking.
Tempest: No, Alex, I’m simply going to say, I’m glad you’re so happy in the WFWF. Its a great place. There's a lot of great people there. Hell, we’ve got a great working relationship with their management staff, so much so as we’ve got talent with exchange clauses in their contracts that allow them to wrestle freely for either company. So, seriously, I’m really glad that you’ve finally found a place where you can put your feet up and say, “I’m Home.” Really. Because, frankly...say what you want, man...You can’t hang with us anymore. You can’t handle it physically or attitude-wise. All this talk about being “Your World Champion”? Its bullshit. You don’t have what it takes to make it here anymore in the XWA.
Sanction: Now, I don’t know about that...
Tempest: Sure, Alex, you’re fully capable of winning a match...but going the distance? Actually going through the ranks and winning a title...and then defending the thing? Putting in the time and dedication, week after week to prove you’re a champion in reality and not just on paper? Not likely. As a matter of fact I’d go so far as to say, not possible. You can’t do what the guys in the back can do. You can’t dedicate yourself to something without working out all the angles....you can’t step into whatever comes your way, face it like a man, and take on all comers.
The crowd has gone silent, entranced by Tempest’s speech.
Tempest: The guys back there in the locker room, regardless of affiliation or philosophy, are the among best there is in the business. They give this place everything they’ve got and keep coming back. They don’t give up. They don’t walk away when the going gets tough. They come out here and entertain the fans and each other each and every week, and they do this for the love of it...not so they can rub it in the faces of anyone they mistakenly believe is believe is beneath them. How dare you come into our yard and piss on the XWA, Alex.
The camera cuts to a closeup.
Tempest: ...piss on you, Alex Sean.
<TAG to either Alex or his buddy only, if you guys still want to reply...if you don’t by Thursday, this will get finished out...>